Lord, Could You Please Make My ‘Ass’ Record Number One?

Posted by: on Jun 22, 2008 | Comments (0)

There’s a ten-gallon hatful of absurdly quotable passages in Trace Adkins’ freewheeling autobiography, A Personal Stand: Observations and Opinions from a Free-Thinking Roughneck. But I think this one is my favorite:

Even though it might be my most famous song, technically “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” was never a number-one record, and for a pretty good reason. It was number two the same week Carrie Underwood went number one with “Jesus, Take The Wheel.” Right behind me, at number three, was Brad Paisley’s “When I Get Where I’m Going,” a song about heaven. So there I was, in a sticky position. I couldn’t exactly root against the records ahead of or behind me. I couldn’t pray to the man upstairs, asking, “Lord, could you please make my ‘ass’ record number one instead of the two ‘Jesus’ songs?” It would have been wrong. And that’s probably why it didn’t go number one. I had ass, they had Jesus, and Jesus won, which I guess is the way it ought to be.